China To Take on Hummer; Gets Ride Pimped

In breaking news today, ailing automaker General Motors has sold its Hummer brand to Chinese industrial company, Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Company Ltd.  When asked for comment, GM CEO Fritz Henderson responded, "I am shocked.  We actually found people who hadn't heard what a worthless investment this was.  We had thought we were the last suckers in the world to buy Hummer, but no, these rubes from China thought that these monstrosities would make excellent soccer mom cars!"

Mr. Henderson continued, "We even made them take Xzibit!  We told them that he came free with purchase!"  After this exchange Mr Henderson broke out into a fit of laughter and could not continue the interview.  The Hummer brand has been credited with dragging down the GM portfolio with its lane clogging size and horrible fuel economy.  According to industry analysts, the gargantuan Hummer got 5.7 miles per gallon downhill.  In addition to the dismal mileage, the effect when a five foot two woman with road rage barrels down a highway left a bad taste in the mouths of consumers.

Bob Schultz, automobile expert from Des Plaines, Illinois, summed it up best.  "I guess the Chinese haven't seen the Canyonero episode of the Simpsons."