Newt Gingrich's Boat Is Sinking

Newt Gingrich is in debt.  A lot of debt.  His campaign has raised $2.1 million and so far he is still one million dollars in the hole.  He has said that he hoped that America would be as debt free as he was.  As Jon Stewart of the Daily Show pointed out, per capita the U.S. debt amounts to approximately $45,000.  Newt has twenty-two times that rate of debt.  Good going Newtie.

Newt's 2.1 million dollars raised in the second quarter doesn't look that bad considering Rick Santorum only half a million dollars.  However, Newt's campaign imploded in Q2 with much of his upper campaign staff resigning so we don't know when in the second quarter that money was donated.  Also, I did not find out how much was reserved for the general election so that could really put another dent in his numbers.  I expect that Newt will be out soon since he will likely not do too well in the Iowa Straw Poll.

Dear Newt Gingrich: We Quit Too, Sincerely Your Hopes for Being President

Newt Gingrich was a dead candidate walking weeks ago when most of his senior staff quit en masse.  Now his fundraising director and another top financial aide have departed as well.  The campaign is trying desparately to keep a positive face, but seeing as how Gingrich has little buzz and most of the headlines are surrounding Romney, T-Paw and now Jon Huntsman, the death blow may be looming when the campaign fundraising numbers are released at the end of the month.  Gingrich is a rotting zombified corpse which is now facing a really angry Bruce Campbell.

The Boomstick is the only thing paying attention to Newt.

Newt's campaign has stated that it will step up its efforts in Iowa and Newt will deliver a speech on inefficiencies in the EPA.  Real winner there Newt.  There are two big stories going on today, jobs and the economy.  Unless you plan on releasing dick pics, stick with those topics and how your grand vision will help get our country back on track.  Actually don't.  That appears to be a winning strategy and I don't think you can handle that.

Newt Gingrich's Campaign Manager Quits...

News just broke that Newt Gingrich's campaign manager has just quit his post.  Along with campaign manager Rob Johnson, key staffers in early primary states Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina have all fled Gingrich's campaign.  Newt's campaign has hit a lot of rocky patches recently and this is another nail in the coffin. 



Pictured: Sinking ship.

 Newt probably sealed this deal when he decided to take a two week vacay just weeks after he announced he was running for president.  This vacation was assuredly well needed since Newt has confessed that in the past the pressure of his political life led him to cheat on his wife.  Well, running for president definitely is stressful so Newt probably was close to cheating on wife number three so he decided to take a break.  Naturally, we could expect that he would probably work a three day work week if elected.